Do You Ever Feel Like a Square Peg in a Round Hole?

values Jan 27, 2025
Silhouette of a woman holding balloons on the beach at sunset, living her values and feeling free

Have you ever felt like a square peg in a round hole? Not just at those awkward networking events where you’re unsure of what to say or who to talk to, but in your own life?

I’ve been there, more times than I can count.

It started back in school, then followed me to university. I felt it when I jumped into recruitment, and again when I transitioned into the corporate world. It was there when I became a mum, and even more so when I found myself navigating life as a single mum. Then came self-employment, and later, a return to full-time work. Spotting a pattern here? Haha, yep, it was me all along!

Despite the fun and excitement each stage of life brought, there was always this nagging feeling that something wasn’t quite right. It was like trying to fit into a mould that wasn’t made for me.

Over the years, I’ve delved deep into understanding what makes us tick. My psychology studies, designing values-based recruitment frameworks, and working with clients on aligning their careers with their values have all been part of this journey. It’s been a decade-long exploration of personal and professional growth.

 

So, what have I learned from all this?

Compass:

We all have our own compass—a core set of values that guide our beliefs, decisions, and actions. When we align with these values, life feels like it’s flowing in the right direction. But when we stray, it’s like swimming against the current.

 

North Star:

Each of us has a north star—a purpose that our values and decisions point towards. It’s not always clear, and sometimes we end up chasing someone else’s star, leaving us feeling lost or unfulfilled.

 

One Size Doesn’t Fit All:

Our unique values and north stars mean that our paths to fulfilment are just as unique. What works for one person might not work for another, and that’s perfectly okay.

 

Looking back, the reason I often felt like a square peg in a round hole was because I wasn't always aligning with my values. In various aspects of my life—whether it was my career, my approach to parenting, or the business choices I was making—I was often doing what I thought I 'should' do, rather than what truly resonated with me.

In my career, I climbed ladders that others deemed prestigious, but they didn't fulfill me. As a parent, I sometimes followed conventional wisdom instead of trusting my intuition. In business, I made decisions based on external expectations rather than my own vision. Each of these choices, while seemingly right at the time, led me further away from my core values and my true self.

It was only when I started to listen to my inner compass and align my actions with my values that things began to change. I realised that living authentically meant making choices that felt right for me, even if they didn't align with societal norms or expectations. This shift in perspective was transformative, allowing me to create a life that feels genuine and fulfilling.

 

Embracing Your Unique Path:

Realising that one size doesn’t fit all is freeing. It’s about embracing your journey and understanding that your path is yours alone. This can be both exciting and intimidating, but it’s essential for living authentically.

 

The Journey to Authenticity:

Authenticity isn’t about perfection; it’s about progress. It’s about taking small, intentional steps towards aligning your life with your core values and your north star. This might mean making tough choices, stepping out of your comfort zone, or redefining success. But each step brings you closer to a life that feels true to you.

 

Practical Steps to Align with Your Values:

Reflect: Spend time thinking about what truly matters to you. What are your core values? What is your north star? Journaling or meditating can help.

Evaluate: Look at different areas of your life—career, relationships, personal growth—and see how aligned they are with your values. Where do you feel resistance or dissatisfaction?

Adjust: Make necessary changes. This might mean setting boundaries, pursuing new opportunities, or letting go of things that no longer serve you.

Celebrate: Celebrate your progress, no matter how small. Each step towards alignment is a victory.

 

Living a life aligned with your values and purpose is a journey, not a destination. It’s about continuously checking in with yourself and making adjustments as needed. Remember, you are the author of your own story, and you have the power to create a life that feels authentic and fulfilling.

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